Love and Life

Life is a wonderful thing it's filled with every emotion and lots of lessons. My favorite is you reap what you sow. I know the reason why I'm struggling is a decision I made. During my time abroad I tripped and broke a girls computer. I mentioned to her it wasn't in a safe place and that it should moved. Unfortunately for me I tripped over. She wanted me to pay half. I said ok and I even withdrew the money a couple data pass and I don't see her. Eventually I start dipping in the money and I give her a bs excuse to why I can't pay her. It was wrong and I knew it. Several months down the line a week before paying off my car I get in a car accident . A Lil over a month ago my cat dies. I honestly believe that's why it happen. Moral of the story is do the right thing even though its hard it'll pay off in the future. I want no parts of bad karma which is why I always try to do the right thing even if it kills me. I asked God for forgiveness but you still have to learn lessons. I'm going through a lot but I gotta do the right thing. My time is coming. 
This thing called life is crazy. There's no guide book or instruction manual to look at. Most people use past experiences or other friends advice or their experience. It's funny cause most of the time when you're giving the advice it's easy, but when you're going through its a whole different ball game. Often you find yourself second guessing or over thinking decisions. You are stuck with the question what should I do?? Logic says dont worry about things you can't control but its hard. The decisions you make and the lessons learned effect your lifWhoever said love sucks wasn't lying or Pain is love. I've had my fair share of women. But up until now I never really loved someone willing to do anything. I knew I loved her before she told me I just couldn't be the first to say it. Man issues tryna be tough    It's crazy cause I'm 28 and I find myself sounding like a female but it's the truth. It's Whoever said love sucks wasn't lying or Pain is love. I've had my fair share of women. But up until now I never really loved someone. I'm  willing to do anything. I knew I loved her before she told me I just couldn't be the first to say it. You know man issues tryna be tough. I really can't explain it it's a different feeling than anything thing else and you yearn for it .  It's crazy cause I'm 28 and I find myself sounding like a female but it's the truth. It's almost like they can do no wrong. I use to say to myself I'm not going to be like that over a person or stressing but who was I kidding that's me. I see why  people break up and get back together and give people chances. Love rules the world. Shes my day and night. Love is the most powerful drug it'll have you doing any and everything even loosing your sanity. Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession. present and in the future. Only God knows the future

My Life I just want a pain free heart

I'm coming to you writing again. If you read my blog during the time I was abroad you know my feelings and situations towards women. Just to recap. Being single forever was my biggest fear. I always felt like I would be successful my drive is to strong to struggle forever. This year who would think that I would meet a girl who I was compatible with and genuinely like. I wasn't looking for love nor a relationship. I remember the first time seeing her in person she looked way better than the Facebook and the pictures she sent me. Classic Earl style on the first date I had to show her something different that she probably never done. We went tobogganing. It was the second time going. I haven't went since I was a kid. It was fun. As time passes feelings grow and you know we get closer. I'll admit I love this girl. Just like any other relationships there are ups and downs nothin major. One of the things that was constant in our relationships was that we wasn't where we wanted to be in life as far as in our careers. I'm one to think something's take time and you have to be patient. Knowing my present situation I'm not where I want to be. It's seems like I'm living a nightmare. As I mentioned before this year has been my worse. The only bright spot was her. My finances was bad but they are about to turn around . I can't be down forever. Money doesn't bring happiness. As long as you try and put forth the effort good things are coming. God has perfect timing. So this week I get the we need a break I need time alone from you. I'll admit I'm hurt things have been going bad for having her in my life was a bright spot. So I fight for what I love I try to comfort her and talk to her to remain together but she adamant about. Thinking about it hindsight it may be good for us to focus on ourselves and not each other. Another thought is that relationships build over tough situations. Things aren't going to always be sunny. Ups and downs happen in every relationship. My philosophy is if you struggle now but you're working hard at changing and you're putting forth the effort good things are coming. I do want the best for her. I just felt like we could help each other with our own issues and survive. One other thought is if you love something or someone let it go if it comes back to you then it's yours if not then I wasn't meant to be. This was the longest relationship I've ever been in and I don't want it to end I hate goodbyes. I want to help her with her issues and be there for her,but I know sometimes people need to do things by theirselves . I felt like with her I could tell her everything things I didn't  even tell my best friend she was fun to be around even her downfalls didn't matter with me. Even when my car died I caught the bus to see her. She's the only girl I've ever did that to. Normally I could easily stop texting or calling a girl but with her it's different. She's amazing and she doesn't even know it!! Beautiful, funny, smart are a few words to describe her .  Maybe I'm writing to much maybe I shouldn't have disclosed this. Maybe she's found someone else  but I follow my heart. Maybe she'll read this maybe not but, I love her and I want the best for her it just hurts I wanna do all that mushy stuff can't get her out of my mind. I shouldn't even be doing this but I can't help it. So get yourself together so we can be together and I'll be together my situation is turning around already. It doesn't make sense to have money if you don't have nobody to spend it with. Everything happens for a reason. Only time will tell about everything . Thanks for reading… Love Rules The World I Love You DAW

Work To Live Not Live To Work

Well finals are done and I am happy last week up to now have been crazy. On Friday I got some good news that I would be starting a new job at the same company. However the next night it would be a first for me. From my previous post you should know that I'm car less. So I have two jobs in Cleveland so it just makes sense to spend more time there. So I spend more time over to my mother house. So Saturday night I'm walking from Shaw and Euclid. I'm walking down Shaw. I see these young kids maybe 16 or 15 like a group of 10 of them. So you know me I eager to get home and I walk fast anyway. So I cross the street to walk by myself. Next thing I know I'm getting apporached by them. I'm thinking fight or flight. So one kid comes up I punch him. The next thing I know four of them rush me. My 400$ glasses break I'm salty to make it even worse I'm on the ground in the fetile position trying to protect my grill. These kids trying to take my wallet. Next thing I know they leave. Luckily these two girls scared them off.
This is crazy yall know my situation from previous blogs. How does this happen?? I'm to myself not trying to bother nobody. Not to mention I'm 28 and this is the first time I've ever been jumped. I felt like jody on baby boy. I know that God doesn't put more on you that you can't bear but I've been through a lot in just a few months. Today was cool one of my good friends treated me to Wally's Waffle. I must say the chicken and waffles were delicious. I heard a quote today that I like Work To Live Not Live To Work and it makes sense. I know there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I just can't wait till I get to that light cause what I'm going through sucks... It seems like nothing in my life is going right. Relationships are shaky I almost feel like I'm in this battle by myself. Who can I count on who will be there through the end with me??? I know I have flaws we all do I just want the best for myself and everyone around me. This time last year I mentioned how I thought I would end up single I don't think that way now. The one thing I will mention is a relationship looks much easier than it is dealing with emotions feelings and just learning your counterpart. When you really care for that person You're willing to put up with things trying to make the relationship work. My thoughts have always been if you can stick with me threw the bad times the good times are coming. I believe when times are rough that time is really building the foundation of the relationship if its going to last and if you can make through that then anything is possible...

Present day

I've been gone for a week or so a lot has been going on . First I have been sick. Who would figure once the weather gets better I get sick. Right before I know it this is the end of the semester and I'm not ready I have several papers to write and less than a week to get it done. I already know there will be a few night where I'm not going to sleep , but that's OK. Today when I was going home a friend of mine mentioned a good remark. She said she couldn't wait to get paid because this check is all hers. So I thought to myself. When was the last time I had a check which I didn't have to pay any bills. It's been too long. I know better than this but it just seems like I keep on getting in situations where I have to live paycheck to paycheck and my philosophy is you will eventually loose if you keep on with that strategy. I'm so happy that after this week my Spanish degree will be finished and I will be two classes away from my psychology degree. This semester have been long and hard just so many outside issues. It's getting late and I need to sleep I will post something new later on this week. Everyone take care and God bless....

Can things get worse???

Car paid off now the only option is to junk it. So you should know the story isn't going to go as planned. When it comes to me for some reason it very seldom does. One of my friends ask me if I could drop him off at the Justice center. Reasons being its difficult to find parking down there and he owes parking tickets so I agree. He tells me don't park anywhere around CSU. I'm like ok I've been parking at the dorm lot all year no problem. It's a sign that says visiting parking so I'm good. I ended up parking the anyway and next thing you know his car is gone. I'm furious because my money situation sucks. Not to mention I'm going to take the money I get for junking my car and pay for the tow. How does this happen when I've been parking there all year?? I'm salty and he's salty too. So we get the car out and I pay for getting the car out. A couple days after thinking about it. I should have listened to him and it is my fault. My only thing is he really didn't give me anywhere I could park his car. If you owe Cleveland they could technically tow it anywhere. His best bet would've been to park it in a garage but that is hindsight.
After this disastrous situation I have dinner with one of my friends. It's good to discuss and hear other people's ideas and thoughts. She couldn't believe everything I was telling her. She told me things will turn around for me. The words of hers that will always stick with me. She says follow your heart with everything. It makes sense when you think about it. If you have an option to choose between a job that pays more and one that pays less. The mind will tell you go after the money which is good. The problem is money doesn't all the time bring happiness, so that is where your heart comes in to play.

Struggles...

Ok so after paying to get my car fix things starting going good for me but once again I hit a stumble. If you read my last blog then you know that I had gotten evicted out of one of my previous apartments. So it is now time for me to pay up. Just as I'm about to pay up an emergency comes up and someone needs my help. I have two decisions I could say I can't help and start taking care off my payments on the months I owed rent. Or I could help the person out. After the persons pleads with me and begs me I give in. So things go bad and I never again had the opportunity to pay of the debt. In January I receive a letter saying they are going to garnish my wages. I'm upset wondering how am I going to make it. Second guessing myself after giving the person the money. The person said they were going to do better and change and that nobody believed in them. Turns out they never changed and I wished I would've kept my money. After a month of getting my checks garnished I made it through and realized I could make it. One morning waking up going to work I realize someone broke my window out and stole some of my clothes and boots. So now I have to get the window fixed which puts everything behind. During that same time I receive a phone call from Cleveland Clinic for a job. I go to the job interview they practically offer me the job. School is already in session, its to late for me to changed my schedule. So I decline the job. In hindsight I'm kicking myself for not taking the job. I found out they do tuition reimbursement so that would've been my school money. I manage to get my car fix, but this semester seems to be a roller coaster. I have been having personal problems between myself and female problems. I have been a wreck.
This past Tuesday after taking care of some business job wise I run into another problem. Driving to school I hear a pop and all of a sudden my cars stops. First I check my tires because a couple days before that I get a flat at work. So I'm thinking I blew a tire. My tire is OK My next move is I check under the hood and I see a small fire. I grab some dirt and throw it on the fire to put it out. I wait for 15 minutes and my car still doesn't start up. My mind is thinking my car is dead. I wait a couple days and find out my motor locked up. I'm devastated but in the back of my mind I knew but I was trying to think positive. What makes the situation worse is once again I'm about to pay my car off. Knowing my situation being garnished what do I do?? I have a second job at a country club in beechwood how do I get to it from Akron?? The summer is coming and I start Blossom how do I get there??? How am I going to save up for a car??? God only knows and I know there is light at the end of this tunnel stay tune for more...

Back Where I left Off

I decided to start this blog because I never wrote anything about my experiences after going to South America. Also how my life has changed. The four months when I was gone was the best four months of my life. I met friends that I will remember for the rest of my life. I'm glad I had the opportunity to go. Typical Earl fashion my second day back to the states I went back to work and I've been working since. It seems like when I came back my life has been an extreme roller coaster. I'll admit some of the wounds were self inflicted but the majority of them just happen on there own. I know some people may think I have money or bad things never happen to me but trust me its the direct opposite. If you read my prior blog then you know some of my history. So at the end of the summer my plan was to pay of my car but you wouldn't believe what would happen. I get in a car accident on a Monday when I was going to pay my car off on that Thursday. This accident was and still is devastating to my life. So the money I was going to use to pay off my car had to go to fixing my car. Like how does that happen?? Who has that type of bad luck???